


chasing clearer skies

by AimiTachibanana



Series: yer a wizard phannie [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Battle of Hogwarts, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25442053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AimiTachibanana/pseuds/AimiTachibanana
Summary: first it was the new ministry and now a new headmaster. dan couldn't handle it anymore.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: yer a wizard phannie [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835977
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	chasing clearer skies

_Phil doesn’t understand. He just doesn’t!_

Dan paced around the Gryffindor common room. It was half-past midnight and the only students up at this hour were those who had a bad habit of cramming to the last second, those who were too scared to fall asleep and Dan, who had plans on leaving the school.

_He has no idea what it’s like… To be treated differently… To be targeted… To have your literal life at stake._

Dan paused and slumped down on an empty couch as tears threatened to fall. He rested his head on his hand, covering his face from the few people who might notice the manifestation of his inner turmoil.

It had just been a few minutes since he stormed inside. After the vehement row he had with Phil, their usual spot by the kitchens that held treasured memories of stolen kisses and intertwined fingers suddenly seemed like the worst place Dan had ever set foot in this evening.

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks!” Phil’s voice echoed in Dan’s head.

It would’ve meant a lot.

Dan shudders, finding it hard to swallow with the huge lump in his throat.

He’s never shouted at Dan like that before.

Phil is the type that never shows his anger, or never even allows himself to feel angry—but that’s another issue entirely.

“Don’t you trust me?”

Dan recalls how Phil’s voice sounded so broken, so hurt… and so _betrayed_.

“Maybe I don’t.” Dan felt his chest tighten, hearing his own words in an icy tone that could cut like daggers.

The fire in the common room seemed to mock him with its warm blaze.

“You’re lying.” It sounded less like it was directed at Dan and more like Phil was convincing himself. “You don’t mean that! Dan, _please_.”

Arms wrapped around from Dan’s back and a shaky voice said, “I won’t let you. We can pretend you’re my distant adopted cousin or something!” Phil pleaded.

“They’ve contacted my parents by this time.” Dan held the arms around him just to release himself from the grip.

“Then I’ll go with you!”

“Don’t be an idiot!” hissed Dan as he turned to face Phil but couldn’t dare meet his eyes. “Your family may not have any trouble with my kind but this is the Ministry we’re talking about! You realise this isn’t just Umbridge…”

“ _How could I not?!_ ”

Phil rarely ever expressed his loathing towards her and he was always the one telling Dan not to go raising his voice at Umbridge when she was their professor, yet it was Phil who had been punished; his wholesome reputation tarnished for the first time when he found out she let “Mudblood” slip out her mouth when addressing Dan during his detention.

Dan sighed, turning away again, as if Phil’s glare could set him on fire. “Don’t you see; I’m doing this for your own good as well…”

“Well you’re stupid if you think I’m the one whose safety is more imperiled here.”

It took a lot for Dan to just stand there and not immediately lash out as he simply said, “You just don’t understand. I’m risking a lot by staying here, especially for you.”

“I understand you’re being too bloody noble again!”

“I literally just told you I’m not only doing this for me!”

Everything was quiet.

“Why won’t you let me go with you…” Phil eventually broke the deafening silence.

“I don’t want you to be even more of a disgrace to the wizarding world just by being with me.”

“Isn’t that for me to decide… what’s disgraceful and what isn’t?” Phil cupped Dan’s face to force him to look at his eyes. He raised an eyebrow, desperate for Dan to meet his point.

Dan looks up, keeping the tears from falling and he lets out a hollow laugh. “You don’t understand…”

“No. _You_ don’t understand.” Phil grazes his thumb over Dan’s cheek. “ _I love you, Dan_. I can’t let you go, not alone at least.”

Dan didn’t speak. Instead, he leaned in and kissed Phil. Phil immediately clung to Dan’s neck and they stayed like that for a while, holding onto each other.

“Alright,” Dan eventually says, pulling away from Phil’s lips. “We’ll leave tomorrow night.” He whispers, holding his tears and stroking Phil’s hair, breathing in the sweet and comforting scent.

Dan was standing by the door of his dorm. He took in the sight of the entire room one last time. His roommates were all naturally deep in sweet slumber, something Dan had been deprived of since the change in headmaster. He can’t help the strong jealousy of having only mundane worries like homework fill his head.

His chest was heavy as he stared at his empty bed; his trunk was still there along with his books and scrolls of parchment. No one would know he’d gone unless they would check his half-empty wardrobe.

He had just finished writing a letter. Dan was now simply stalling as much time as he can to reminisce the place back when it used fill him with utter wonderment—when it was all so new to him then; finding out he was special, that there were people like him, and then finding out he was still a bit different, to now fearing for his life because of how special he is.

His eyes land on a discarded copy of the Daily Prophet in his rubbish bin.

More reported disappearances and uninvestigated murders of Muggleborns as well as ongoing interrogation of proving the origins of their magical capabilities.

He winced at the thought of his friends or _Phil_ being cornered just to ask about Dan’s whereabouts. It built up his conviction.

Time’s up. He had to go.

He shut the door behind him with one final creak and a thud.

* * *

An owl woke Phil up the next morning.

He hadn’t slept properly that night. Worries, doubts and his anxiety of Dan almost acting impulsively haunted his mind. Despite hearing Dan concede, he had this unsettling wariness in his gut. He felt out of reach last night. Even the kiss felt different, like it was only meant to pacify Phil—but he refused to believe this. He _trusted_ Dan.

Head pounding, he bolted upright.

It was an unrecognizable owl. He tentatively took the letter and paid the bird.

He stared at the letter. It was Dan’s writing. They write to each other so often that Phil can tell this is Dan right away.

_Phil,_

_I’d rather break your trust than risk your life. It’s easier to forgive myself for that._

_I’ll forever treasure our brief time together._

_Goodbye. I’ll never stop loving you._

Phil had never known grief that strong until he finished reading.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry but i hope it hurt you.  
> (i was feeling sad so im dragging yall wd me lol rip)
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aimitachibanana)


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